Dick and Jane go to Daycare

Is there any better feeling than dropping your children off with a caregiver, only to return to smiling, happy and well-behaved children?  What about when the caregiver smiles at you and says "They were complete angels!'?  No, seriously I'm asking...is there any better feeling?? Because I wouldn't know.

Since I'm not currently babysitting any children during the day, I thought I'd take advantage of the casual care at the gym and sneak some exercise in (unfortunately, my baby weight doesn't just disappear by wishing it away).  I booked the spots for the little darlings late last week and was really looking forward to it!  I played it up to the Little Miss, and told her how much fun she would have, all the new toys she could play with, the new friends she'd meet!  I made sure to book only for an hour, just to test the kids out, you know?  See how well they would do being ripped from my bosom.  Surely, they'd miss me, since I'm with them 24/7.

This morning was very hectic.  We had to wrestle two kids into raincoats and carseats and drop Daddy off at work ("Look at all the Daddies!" Yes, they're all dressed like Daddy. "What are dey doin'?" They're marching. "What kind of sticks dey got?" Those aren't sticks, Honey. "No? Dey are....What are dey?" Umm...(don't tell her they're guns..don't tell her they're guns..)..they're bubble blowers. "BUBBLE BLOWERS?!  Big big BIG bubble blowers??" Yep! "Cool!" I'm going to hell. My handbasket is ready.), get back home and get some breakfast into their bellies, throw some clothes on (big stains are no good, but little stains are acceptable), pull the Wee Miss' hair back into a ponytail (Ugh. Worst part of the day!), make sure the diaper bag is stocked, ooops! Don't forget to dress yourself, Meg! And out the door.  Holy cow.  Why bother exercising? I'm already a sweaty mess!

We get to the gym, walk down the long hall and up the Obscenely Long Staircase to the casual care room (seriously - I'm carrying 20 lbs of child on my hip and dragging 30 lbs of child with my arm..not to mention the two bags I'm lugging and leaky bottle of water I'm trying not to spill everywhere..couldn't they have situated the room better?  Like on the main floor? Or at least have an elevator?!) and before I get the door open all the way, Missy Moo is off like a shot, flinging boots and raincoat everywhere.

I get them signed in, show Moo where the bathroom is (and remind her that she's not to pee in the corner like last time - that toy chair is NOT A POTTY), let the staff know there's a change of undies and pants for her, snacks and drinks in the bag hanging on the hook with the names that look the most like The Hooligans' and hoof 'er out of there.

I went and renewed my gym card (which took exactly 17 minutes because the woman behind the desk was a Chatty Cathy. I'm not complaining in the least bit for cutting into my exercise time!  Actually, I should remember to send her a thank you card...) and signed out a seat for the spin bikes.  I had the gym practically to myself!  No JTF2 guys working out in the corner today (booo), but I worked up a pretty good sweat in just over half an hour, did my stretches and went back to get the kids.

I was feeling really good!  High on endorphins or whatever they are, on the fact that nobody called my cell to let me know The Hooligans had somehow burned the playhouse to the ground, proud of myself for pushing myself on a spin bike without the benefit of an instructor....Plus I found some hotties drinking from the fountain as I turned the corner.

I bounced up the stairs, light as air (phew..how could I not notice the pool observation area is here? The heat is pouring out! It's SO HOT!) and open the door, expecting to see shining, happy faces, slow motion running and dreamy-like "Moommeeee!!!" hugs. 

"BOY! You can't play wit DAT TOY!  Das MY TOY, Boy!" Oh dear god.  I see Missy get up and go after 'Boy'.  I yell her name (all three of them, for good measure), but not in time to stop the Barbie being flung at the back of his head.  Oh no.  Faint, Meg, faint!  You can faint reading a freaking book, but not at an important time like this??  Do floors really open up and swallow people??  Now would be a good time.

As I start over to put Miss in Time Out, I see, out of the corner of my eye, the Wee Little Lord walking (staggering) toward me, with his head all the way back and his eyes closed.  I also see, out of the corner of my eye, him plowing into a table.  He's screaming, she's still telling 'Boy' where exactly he can go and where he can put whatever toy she didn't want him playing with, and the other children are just gawking.  OK, so they were all just barely old enough to sit up and gawking is all they can do, but they were gawking nonetheless.  Thank goodness my face was already beet red from spinning as it hid my embarassment quite nicely.

I finally got Missy Moo settled, on the potty and packed up.  The Little Man is clinging to my leg, whining to be picked up, and the caregivers are explaining that he was good as gold but didn't eat any snacks; she was OK and ate her snack AND his.  They very nicely said they looked forward to seeing them again, but I swear I heard a cheer go up as the door closed behind us.