The conversation started out pretty normal for these parts. "Mommy, when I grow up, I'm going to marry Daddy." Sweet, right? All little girls want to marry their Daddies and, being a Daddy's Girl myself, LOVE that Missy says things like that!
"No, Honey. Your Daddy is already married to me. PLUS you're not allowed to marry your Daddy. OR your brother." Ha! Pre-emted that one. We have the marriage conversation every now and then, so none of this is new to The Wee Miss; however, since we've been playing The Game of Life on the PS3, the conversation has come up more often. She threw me for a loop this time, however: "Well, I'm going to marry my Uncle Chris, then." Ha! "You'll have to talk to your Titi about that...but I think she'll be upset."
She went back about her business of torturing her little brother. I scooped them up on the couch and started reading a Fancy Nancy book to them. "Mommy?", her little voice interrupted me just when Fancy Nancy discovers that her babysitter is *gasp* a boy.
"Yeah, Baby?"
"What's a peeper?"
Oh, that's easy! "You know that 'peeper' is what Mommy and Daddy call The Wee Master's parts. It's just easier to say 'peeper' than 'penis and scrotum'." Handled that like a pro - back to Fancy Nancy!
"Mommy?" Maybe not. "Yeah, Pumpkin Butt?"
"What's a scrotum?"
"Well, a scrotum is the part that holds boys' testicles."
"What are testicles?"
"Test..i...cles.......? They're the part that hold the sperm."
Fancy Nancy is slowly coming to realize that a male babysitter isn't a dud, afterall. And Little Missy Moo is slowly coming to realize that there's more to peepers than meets the eye.
"What's a sperm?"
Ugh. Now I understand why parents are so hesitant to have this talk with their kids. It's not that the subject matter is awkward or embarassing (at least, not to me), but it's so darn complicated! How do you explain this?? It took the school system from Grades 4 to 12 to teach me!
"Well...a sperm is what the Daddy uses to help the Mommy make a baby."
"Well...a sperm is what the Daddy uses to help the Mommy make a baby."
"What does the Mommy use?"
"The Mommy uses an egg."
"Like a chicken egg?" Missy Moo is aghast!
"HA! Kind of like a chicken egg, yes. Only much, much smaller."
"Are Mommy eggs hard like chicken eggs?" OH sweet comic relief! How I adore you!
"No, Baby."
"Den what happens?"
"Then...well, then the sperm and the egg get together and they grow into a baby."
And that was the end of that.
...Until we started reading The Cat in the Hat Knows A Lot About That - I Love the Nightlife and the owl said "Whoooo!" and The Wee Master said what sounded like "Coo-coo", WHICH prompted another round of questions, and me answering, "You know that 'coo-coo' is what Mommy and Daddy call your parts because it's a lot easier to say 'coo-coo' than 'vagina', 'clitoris', 'labia majora', 'labia minora', and 'urethra'..."
Way to much info for the kid. Just tell her to wait till you go to University like her parents did and some matronly educator will tell her the Birds & the Bees story. You youngins compilcate your life so !! LOL..
ReplyDeleteHA! I can remember standing in Nana M.'s kitchen asking mommy and daddy if they got daddy's "tadpoles" from the ditch by the train tracks on Peppett Street. I remember because I couldn't hear their answer at first -- everyone was laughing too loud. I wasn't in school yet, so yeah-- I was the Miss' age. And she can have Hunky Chris if she wants him. But she'll have to wait 20 yrs to get married. That's appearing to be his pattern, anyway.
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oh my dear oh my dear, where is that book..."whats happening to my body"
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