Humans are amazing. Everything (including rocks and minerals) is amazing, to be fair but, for tonight's purposes, I'm focusing on humans. Stay with me here; I don't always signal my turns.
Humans are amazing. You need two tiny cells, a warm, cozy place (that would be the uterus for you medical peeps), and a couple of drinks. Two eency weency cells get together, nestle right into that warm place and multiply and divide, evolve from something that looks like a gummy bear to an actual human being...and in the span of roughly 40 weeks! That is freaking amazing! It took every other living being millions of years to do that the first time (OK, entirely evolutionarily inaccurate, I'm sure, but you see what I was going for, eh?)! Huge props to all moms out there - carrying and growing a human being is hard friggin' work. It drains your energy, throws your hormones out of whack, makes sleeping almost impossible near the end (I'm pretending everybody was as miserable pregnant as I was - if you were one of the ones who floated through pregnancy on the back of a unicorn, shhhhhhh!), and then you have to get this human out! Holy smokes! Like I said, humans are amazing!
So you grow this human and then give birth to it...but the work doesn't stop there. You then have to mold this little human into a person (hopefully a caring, thoughtful, generous, empathetic, fair, confident and accepting person, but I digress)! Every single day is another day full of life's lessons in teaching this little one how to be. Huge responsibility. See? Growing and birthing a healthy baby was nothing compared to this!
The life lessons scare me. Smear poop on a curtain? I can handle that. Get a plastic Easter Egg stuck in a little mouth? I'm your gal! Present me with an opportunity to plant the seed of the kind of person I want my kids to be, and all I hear in my head is The Smurf's theme song. I have absolutely no clue how to teach them! How much information is too much information? What is the appropriate truth for their age? Are they too young to hear about this? I'm lost! No clue what to do, and PAL/CLM (Physically Active Lifestyle/Career Life Management) classes did nothing to prepare me for this! FOUR MONTHS of my high school career wasted!
I've spent the entire afternoon and evening re-playing a conversation I had with Missy Moo in my head. I think I handled it appropriately, but then there's a voice in my head that says "Nuh uh! You botched it! You should have said more/less! You should have asked more questions! You should have pretended you didn't hear her! You should have changed the subject! You should have told her you'd talk about it when she's older!" Again, it's religiously based so I'm hesitant to share it here...but of course I will because if I didn't, how would you out in internet-land stroke my parental ego? Or, in the alternative, provide me with negative comments I won't publish? Ha!
Picture this: Moo and I were walking from the drugstore to the movie store to pick out a movie for Movie Night with Daddy (she picked Strawberry Shortcake's Sweet Dreams! Such a cute movie!). We're holding hands, and it's a little cold.
Moo: How many days until Santa comes?
Me: Five more sleeps!
Moo: Chwistmas Eve is my favewit!
Me: Christmas Eve is my favourite, too! What's your favourite part?
Moo: Uuuuh...I don't know!
Me: Well, what do we do on Christmas Eve? Weeeeee put out cookies for Santa and carrots for Rudolph!
Moo: Yeah!
Me: Weeeee...put out some magic reindeer food for the other reindeer.
Moo: YEAH!
Me: What else? We go to church with Poppy and then we hang our stockings and open a present before bed.
Moo: Yeah! I like pwesents!
Me: You like presents, do ya? Me too.
Moo: What's 'church'?
Me: (Uuhh...WTF do I say?) Umm...Church is a place where people go to worship their god.
Moo: Oh. Why do they do that?
Me: (crap.) Umm...Well, it makes some people really happy to worship their god.
Moo: Oh. Why do we have to go?
Me: Weellll, we go to church with Poppy because it means a lot to Poppy to have us there with him, and we love Poppy and want to do things to make him happy, right?
Moo: Wite.
Me: ....(am I supposed to say something here? Is that enough? Am I missing a huge opportunity for something?)
Moo: DERE'S DA MOVIE STORE! Open up! Open up! I'll hit da button! Come on, Mommy! It's movie night! What movie am I going to pick?!
...and the moment was lost. When we got back to the car, I asked if she had any more questions about church, and she said no. I can't help thinking, though, that I missed something big. Like a sign on the highway that says "Only Exit to Halifax 1KM", but I missed it because I was trying to change the song on my iPod (which, by the way, is très dangereux! Do not do!), and now I have to drive 15 KM down the road to the next exit just to turn around and drive all the way back again.
I'll never get the hang of this and my kids will be poorly adjusted, slightly neurotic adults; the only upside being that they'll never lose the appreciation for a good fart joke.
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Meh. I've had conversations with her. If she wasn't satisfied with the info given, she would have pressed, and you didn't fudge any truths, so I'd say you passed.
ReplyDeleteOnly Exit to Cape Breton 3 days! <3
Tis me,
ReplyDeletemaking a person is a miracle, turning, molding, grooming that person to be a decent human being takes hard work. Guess ya teach by example, by being able to hear when there is silence, see invisible tears, and read minds. Other than that being open and honest, letting them know you have their back, even if the other guy is bigger. Kids will always absorb what information they are given when asking questions, mull that over, add it to their little libary, and come back for a more to complete answer or connect the dots as they need it. This could next be who is God, where is God, what is dead, how do you get dead, where do you go, and on and on as far as a questioning little mind can wander. She is too young to make up her mind about what all mysteries are contained in the universe, why a church is or is not important, or what we believe. I guess the whole thing is whatever you and her Daddy think/say will shape her thinking, so she has to know that when she is older she can make up her own mind about these things. That she can explore something more later if she wants to. Other than thatm you do what you are doing, just answer her questions truthfully, if it is too much info, she will prolly say "oh" and go do something she wants to do. She might be satisfied with this for the next year or so, lol
I go through the same thing all the time! Harper is constantly asking me questions I feel like I never have the right or appropriate answers to. I've just decided to be as truthful as possible with all the questions she asks, but I don't volunteer any further information then what she demands.
ReplyDeleteThese darn kids keep us on our toes so much it's a mystery to me that I haven't completely messed up... yet!
Oh lady, you are such a great Mom! I hope I'm able to measure up to you one day! Kisses and hugs to you and your babies this holiday season! You are all so freakin' CUTE!
ReplyDeleteShar