Things have gotten out of control. The screaming, the whining, the tantrums...But I'm turning 30 in a few weeks, so it's to be expected, right? Anyway, I'm a work in progress! Leave me alone.
As for the kids, there's screaming (like, bloody-murder screaming, thanks to the Littlest Lord), outright defiance and a saucy mouth, the likes of which rival anything you've ever seen by Dennis the Menace or Calvin of Calvin & Hobbes (courtesy of the Wee Miss). It's not fun times up in here! The three of us are a grumpy lot by the time supper rolls around. Things have got to change!
Today, I tried a little mind over matter and it seemed to go pretty well! I pretended I was Mary Poppins: sing-songy voice, not-a-care-in-the-world-not-even-when-they-refused-to-eat-the-grilled-cheese-sandwiches-they-begged-me-for-and-then-threw-on-the-floor. In short, I pretended I was on whatever Ol' Mary was on, because we all know there's no way she survived the Banks kids without some sort of "medicinal" aide...did you see how fast those other Nannies were driven out?
When a toy car was lobbed at her brother, I sang to the Wee Miss, "Time Out! We don't throw things inside the house and certainly not at anybody! Three minutes! Let's go!". When he started a slapsies fight his sister didn't want to participate in, I trilled to the Wee Master, "No hit! Time out! Now!". When an all-out brawl started over a blue crayon, I...well, OK I lost myself there and the only song and dance they got was the one where I promise to handcuff them together until they get along.
But I'd have to say I think it went pretty well! I've been yelling much too much lately, and that's not like me. I only yelled once today and, although we all had a bad case of The Mondays, I must admit The Wees listened much better today (and by "The Wees", I mostly mean The Wee Miss, because The Wee Master is very little trouble at all). Could I be onto something? Will I be the author of the next international best seller "Who Needs (Pretend) Medicinal Mood Alterers? You Do! : Transform Your Parenting Overnight!"? Only time will tell....
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You know... I remember Mary hanging around with people who giggled uncontrolably, got the hiuccups, and floated around the ceiling... She was definitely into childcare enhancing drugs.
ReplyDeleteTis me...I had perfect kids and no problems,none, whatsoever, except my kids turned my hair prematurly white, and made me bi polar. Other than that my favorite song to sing the wee ones was "little bebe soft and sweet, upon your head I'd like to beat, and this one sung to the turn of Brauns lullabye..."go to sleep, little creep, go to sleep for I kills ya" no harm came of it, really. No really. lol
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